Your Cart is Empty

  • Add description, images, menus and links to your mega menu

  • A column with no settings can be used as a spacer

  • Link to your collections, sales and even external links

  • Staring Down Cassandra

    January 13, 2021 4 min read 1 Comment

    Hey everyone, it’s new song day! Keep reading to hear some thoughts and unpack the song, but if you just want to have a listen, click the play button. 


    O Death is a song that I started writing earlier this year, specifically about staring into the face of COVID. I originally meant it to be the opening of the album, a bombastic metal/orchestral/hip-hop piece that was a rallying cry to all of the themes of the rest of the “rock opera” that is My-So-Called-Emo-Life

     (oh how the women swooned for you, Jordan Catalano. If only they could know you’d turn into the Joker. I related more to the geek on the show, Brian Krakow)  

    Every morning as I wake up, I run through my news and blog feed and catch up on anything I might have missed while I was asleep. I tend to float through a variety of sources, but many are small-”l” libertarian bloggers or organizations. It’s a mix of opinions and ideas, a hyper-saturated rainbow and spectrum of philosophical slants in the town hall of my head. In a way, it’s like the ongoing conversation my ADHD brain would typically be having with itself.

    I do my best to maintain relationships with people I don’t necessarily agree with because there are other areas where we find commonality. If I could narrow down the principle that I hold most dear, it’s this: cliques must be broken, and bonds must be forged.  

    My attention was brought to a new article by Bari Weiss. I think it’s essential reading. Even just the opening paragraph is worth noting:

    Thought comes before action. Words come before deeds. Media that profits from polarization will stoke it. Lies — may be harmless for the moment, maybe even noble — create a lying world.”

    Her primary focus in the article is 19th-century German poet and literary critic Heinrich Heine.

    I wasn’t aware of Heine until this morning, Looking at his painting, one can’t help but see a young proto-emo. It sounds like he was a little bit of a Germanic Mark Twain. In 1834, he wrote a piece that predicted what would happen to Germany and Europe in the next century. 

    “Christianity — and that is its greatest merit — has somewhat mitigated that brutal Germanic love of war, but it could not destroy it. Should that subduing talisman, the cross, be shattered, the frenzied madness of the ancient warriors, that insane Berserk rage of which Nordic bards have spoken and sung so often, will once more burst into flame. This talisman is fragile, and the day will come when it will collapse miserably. Then the ancient stony gods will rise from the forgotten debris and rub the dust of a thousand years from their eyes, and finally Thor with his giant hammer will jump up and smash the Gothic cathedrals.”

    I encourage you (after you’ve read the rest of this!) to read the rest of Bari’s article. It’s excellent but I also think it's important. I bring it up because I feel like it has parallels to O Death

    O Death cover art. A man stands at a chasm and looks across at a giant death carrying a scythe

    Last week, it felt like we reached the precipice where I’m not convinced  that there’s anything other than fire and death on the other side of the chasm. My heart has been in a place similar to Bari Weiss’. Even outside of the context of Heine writing about the fall of the Church, the underlying thrust was that the old gods never leave. They’re always in the background.

    There’s a certain amount of impotence one feels when they see the a storm on the horizon and feel like you can’t do anything about it. In Greek mythology, Cassandra was cursed to know the truth about the future. She knew what would happen. But, as much as she could tell and proclaim, there wasn’t anything that she could do about it.  

    Like Heine wrote, staring into the unknowingness of quarantine felt like watching one of the old Gods, maybe Hel since Heine was talking about the Nordics, walking across the plains and harvesting. As the months have gone by, I feel like the storm that I initially saw in COVID expanded into other areas of unrest, some more than justified, some through opportunism. 

    I tried to channel some of that frustration into O God. Too often I feel like I can see off into the future and not want it  but know that it’s coming anyway. Death is always on the horizon. War, like the Rolling Stones sang, “is just a shot away”, and there’s always some sort of storm rolling in.  (Have a listen to my favorite cover of Gimme Shelter by singer/songwriter Ashley Cleveland  Her husband, Kenny Greenberg, is an amazing guitarist as well). 

    For all of the hype I try to give No_System, a lot of times, it feels like I’m not talking to or persuading anyone. I can influence the micro, but I feel like I have no power in the macro. That’s why I believe in trying to create open lines of communication. My fear is that as social media continues to break down into smaller and smaller bubbles, the dialogue will stop entirely.

    The only way back from the precipice is to be able to see personhood and value in the ‘other”. It doesn’t mean we have to like everyone. I fully believe that you could hate everything about someone with every fiber of your being, (AND work against them ceaselessly), while still acknowledging that they’re human. (Note to the reader: I also admit that I have a long way to go in this area.)

    I wouldn’t regularly use the term “brave” as a way to describe myself. I feel like the definition of bravery is making the choice to do something even though you’re afraid. I’ll admit that I’ve been a little terrified about writing this post. To quote myself, 

    I worry about even rapping these words
    Not knowing how interpretations will be heard
    If I can’t get past even that
    How are my actions going to disturb.”

    All of these pieces, like Survival, the first track I put out last year, are meant, if anything, to let people know they’re not alone. I hope the sentiment and emotion on display here can help you to maybe give you some catharsis as well.

    O Death, where is thy sting?

    You can find the lyrics to the song here 

    1 Response

    Crystal Wong Kruger
    Crystal Wong Kruger

    January 20, 2021

    Thank you for this Brian.
    “I can influence the micro, but I feel like I have no power in the macro.” – I suppose this might be better appreciated (seen) over time, at least until one becomes a major influencer who can directly move waves with a flap of their wings. That is, who knows how this micro impact will add towards a larger impact in the future. Despite the limits of time, I can say that you’ve influenced me personally in achieving at least one of this post’s stated goals: I know that I’m not alone.

    Agreed: people like you, like us, do indeed need to continue to be brave and work past the fears of being misunderstood. Your message of acknowledging the “other” is one of my main beliefs as well.

    Grateful to know you on this journey as you hone your craft and gain more traction in this vast world of ours.

    And since the button below says “submit review” I will humbly add: I really appreciate the layers of your music. The choral opening juxtaposed by your rapping which, at least for me, sound less angry than the lyrics might suggest; the reflective “quiet” bridge before your return with conviction. Your works tell such compelling stories which this short “review” doesn’t begin to do justice to.

    Leave a comment